Bloody Catholics!

Look at them, bloody Catholics. Filling the bloody world up with bloody people they can't afford to bloody feed. Because every time they have sexual intercourse they have to have a baby.

We could have intercourse any time we wanted. And, what's more, because we don't believe in all that Papist claptrap we can take precautions. Because we are members of the Protestant Reformed Church which successfully challenged the autocratic power of the Papacy in the mid-sixteenth century, we can wear little rubber devices to prevent issue. And by wearing a rubber sheath over my old feller I could ensure that when I came off... you would not be impregnated.

That's what being a Protestant's all about. That's why it's the church for me. That's why it's the church for anyone who respects the individual and the individual's rightto decide for him or herself. When Martin Luther nailed his protest up to the church door in 1517, he may not have realised the full significance of what he was doing. But four hundred years later, thanks to him, my dear, I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas.

And Protestantism doesn't stop at the simple condom. Oh no! I can wear French Ticklers if I want. French Ticklers... Black Mambos... Crocodile Ribs...
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fra Monthy Python, Meaning of Life.



That's why it's the church for me.